The Impossible Reader’s Gift List: Nine Quirky Books for People Who Have Everything in 2026
Photo: Internet Archive Book Images, No restrictions, via Wikimedia Commons
It is November 2026. The Christmas adverts have begun, the mince pies are already on a shelf marked seasonal, and you have a friend who owns every book. Not just many books. Every book. They have a signed first edition, a reading chair with better posture than you, and a tote bag that says I'm not buying another bookcase.
Here is our impossible reader's gift list, organised by reading personality rather than bestseller charts. Nine quirky books — mostly from indie presses, with a few author-recommended curiosities — for the person who already has everything, including opinions.
1. The True-Crime Obsessive
Book: The Ledger of Small Cruelties by Ada Finch (Rookery Press).
A domestic noir told through receipts, library slips and one deeply unsettling thank-you note. Recommended by a crime-writing friend who described it as Miss Marple with a spreadsheet. For the reader who has watched every documentary and now needs fiction to calm down.
Bookshop tip: ask your local bookseller to check Rookery's stock early. Small-press titles have a habit of vanishing by the second week of December.
2. The Book-as-Object Collector
Book: A Field Guide to Unreadable Books by Nell Pritchard (Marsh Lane Editions).
A mock-academic catalogue of books designed to be impossible to finish, printed on three paper stocks and numbered by hand. It comes with a ribbon bookmark that says leave me alone. Not for reading in bed. For displaying on the shelf with the spine out, like a tiny sculpture.
This is the gift for the person who has opinions about paper quality and says things like 'I simply can't read a paperback with a cracked spine'. They will stroke it. Briefly. Then put it in a glass cabinet.
3. The Bath Reader
Book: The Waterproof Alibi by Josie Marlow (Puddle Books).
A slim comic mystery printed on water-resistant paper, because someone has finally accepted that we are a nation of people who read in the bath and then panic. Pair it with a bath caddy and a note saying please don't drop this in. They will.
4. The Commute Sprinter
Book: Ninety-Nine Tiny Betrayals by Sam Okafor (Platform Press).
Flash fiction for the 07:42 to Leeds. Each story fits between two stations and ends with a small emotional collision. For the reader who says they have no time but spends forty minutes a day scrolling.
Bookshop tip: buy the pocket edition. Hardbacks are for people with cars, or at least a very roomy rucksack.
5. The Dinner-Party Pretender
Book: The Very Short History of Almost Everything Else by Dr Imogen Pike (Pale Lantern Books).
A witty lavatory book of forgotten inventions, failed utopias and one chapter on the history of the paperclip that is far more gripping than it should be. For the friend who wants to say they are reading something fascinating and then change the subject.
6. The Rereader
Book: The Second Time Around by Hector Vale (Cobweb Editions).
A novel about rereading, structured so that the second half quietly rewrites the first. Recommended by an author friend who has read it three times and is still cross about chapter nine. For the person who annotates in pencil and has strong feelings about cracked spines.
7. The Ghost-Story Lover
Book: The Haunting of Number 14B by Priya Nair (Tinderbox Books).
A gentle, genuinely creepy ghost story set in a suburban semi with terrible plumbing. No gore, no chainsaws, just the growing suspicion that the boiler is trying to communicate. Perfect for Christmas Eve, when the house is quiet and the central heating is making noises.
8. The Nature Nerd
Book: A Herbal for Insomniacs by Rowan Bell (Hedgehog Press).
Part field guide, part memoir, part gentle nonsense about plants that may or may not help you sleep. The illustrations are lovely. The advice is questionable. The tone is perfect. For the reader who owns three bird books and still cannot identify the thing on the feeder.
9. The First-Pages-Only Person
Book: Opening Lines: An Anthology of Beginnings by various authors (Tiny Anchor Press).
An anthology of first pages from novels that were never finished, each with a note from the author explaining why. It is funny, sad and strangely addictive. For the friend who starts everything and finishes nothing. They will finish this. It is only beginnings.
How to Buy These Without Causing a Scene
First, go to an independent bookshop with a list. Not a vague list. A list. Booksellers are excellent at translating 'something quirky for my brother-in-law who likes history but not too much history' into three actual books. They are less excellent at translating panic on Christmas Eve.
Second, order early. In 2026, small presses are still small, and popular oddities sell out. If a title is unavailable, ask for something in the same spirit rather than the same category. A good bookseller will find you a book about haunted plumbing when you came in for a book about forgotten inventions.
Third, consider National Book Tokens if you have left it too late. They are not a failure. They are a dignified retreat with a ribbon on.
And finally, remember that the impossible reader is not impossible. They just have a shelf that needs a surprise. The best gift is a book they did not know they wanted, from a press they have never heard of, with a dedication that makes them snort. If all else fails, buy them a tote bag. They will pretend to be annoyed, then use it immediately.
